Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
