I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss