worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize