I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
only if we run a train.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.