i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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