piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize