You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize