um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
