yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
love makes seman taste better
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize