Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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