i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
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We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
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I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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