I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
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