dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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