Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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