You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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