After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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