is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
