and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize