im drinking this country out of the recession.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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