He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
