ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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