Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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