Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
