You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
