just survived the first fart of the relationship.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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