You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
