Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize