it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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