go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
