Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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