we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
