After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
