so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
