I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
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If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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