I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize