I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
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So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
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That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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