Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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