help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
