She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
