Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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