She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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