I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Someone signed my nipple.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
