ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
