Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I had to cum in my sink.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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