just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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