He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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