she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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