He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
