I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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