So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
