i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
