The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
