"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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