there was a trapeze. enough said
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
not ubering you a puppy
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
