Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
