apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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