and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
