What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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