I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize