No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
