Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
