And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Sacagawea was the original milf.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
