I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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