I'm jealous of your bromance
i just google imaged poop.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
