his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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