when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
