youre lurking in front of me
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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