We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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