The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Shame is for Republicans.
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